Things have been quiet here for a little while. I started off the year strong, fleshing out a thick editorial calendar for January through April, started to rebrand/redesign the site, getting super excited about an ebook I’m planning to release at the end of the year, etc. 2017 started with a bang and I felt on top of the world.
And then I started to get tired really early. I started to fall asleep while patiently nursing/rocking/patting V to sleep. And things that usually happen monthly didn’t happen. And just like that, productivity plummeted, excitement, thankfulness, exhaustion and nausea sky-rocketed.
Baby #2 is rockin and a rollin and definitely making his/her presence known.
I heard throughout my pregnancy with V that women in general are more sick during a girl pregnancy. I don’t know if that’s more true than coincidence but if it is, there’s a whole lot of girl growing up in here.
With V, I would feel okay, slowly not feel okay, get sick, not feel okay, then feel okay. Never amazing but rarely, and for a very short time span, feel awful. So far, I feel awful a lot. We found out about Little One around 4.5wks and I was getting a little nausea here and there but it wasn’t enough (other than the extremely painful nursing) to know for sure it wasn’t just in my head. By 6wks I was nauseated constantly. If I wasn’t shoveling food in my mouth, seriously the moment I stopped eating, the nausea came rolling back.
And the headaches. Man, the headaches have been really rough because you can’t take anything and I’m honestly just not a nice person when I have a headache.
I constantly feel bloated and gross. Trying to keep my fluid intake up just makes me feel even more bloated. I have wicked hot flashes which I definitely don’t remember from last time.
All that to say, things have been quiet around here lately.
I drop V off at grandma’s three times a week before heading to work. We’re usually home an hour or so before Husband gets home from nursing school, we quickly eat some semblance of a balanced dinner before it’s teeth brushing and pajamas and off to bed for V and I both.
I’ve been having a few days of less nausea. Either that or I’m just adapting to its constancy and don’t notice it as much. Either way I’m really hoping I can kick this exhaustion and get back to writing and interacting again because I miss you guys!
I know that was a lot of complaining. I think pregnant women are allowed to complain as much as they want because growing a baby is really hard. I thought it was rough the first time around but growing a baby while working full time outside the home and with a toddler (can’t even catch a break on the weekends!) is so much harder. My respect levels for moms with numerous children continue to rise. Mothering while pregnant is so hard.
But I am also so insanely, unendingly grateful for this little soul we have been blessed to grow and care for. We give thanks to God every morning and night. I say a little prayer of thanks whenever I find myself in a moment of reprieve and when I find myself stuck in the trenches, when I just don’t think I can take another minute of nausea or bone-deep exhaustion, I find solace in offering my suffering up for those families who are struggling with infertility and those who have lost children at any stage of development inside or outside the womb.
I know it’s worth it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rough.
A big thing I’ve been working on is trying to read as much as I can about having a second child. I don’t want my children to be overly competitive. I don’t want to push them to be best friends but I think it’s very important they know their value or degree of success is not contingent upon if they’ve bested their sibling.
“Well, baby, I was walking at 10.5 months so you better get going or you are s-l-o-w.”
I can’t be the only mom losing sleep about that, right?
Anyway, for better or worse, my editorial calendar has changed a bit. I’m going to let myself focus on V and supporting Husband through nursing school and my day job and will try to write as much as possible for the next month or so until this first trimester blech-ness subsides. Then lots of baby stuff coming your way! I’ve already drafted out some post topics – nursing while pregnant, night weaning a toddler, preparing a toddler for a sibling, favorite products for pregnancy, must-haves for a second time mom, and so many more! I’m really looking forward to March, to spring and early summer for that wonderful 2nd trimester reprieve from exhaustion and nausea before the body aches and exhaustion of being massively pregnant hit in the summer.
If you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, I’d love to hear from you so I can add you to my list of women to pray for during this fragile time of motherhood.